::cough:: satire ::cough::First Janssen
First_Janssen
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Gender: Male


Interests: Writing things that do not in any way clearly represent the thoughts or beliefs of First Janssen. Rather, complete satire.
Expertise: Hijinks.
Industry: Education/Research


Message: message me


Member Since: 9/5/2005

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Selah422
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IamNotaGun
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Friday, September 30, 2005


Friday, September 09, 2005

i'm not a fake. i'm really not. i know who i am and i am jono.

I tear my heart open and sew myself shut.

i hope you choke on every word you spoke
when you were screaming at me.

Barbie's got nothing on me ♥

quick update. I like tyler a lot.


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Here it is. The simple truth.
There are way too many upperclassmen, i.e. sophomore/junior/senior/supersenior guys (I won't say men because they don't deserve it), being complete idiots. By that I mean they are acting very strangely around the freshmen girls. I won't lie. The girls are extremely beautiful, bright, and they have a lot going for them. What they don't need right now is some hormone-crazed guy bothering them. Just because they're new doesn't mean they're stupid. Put your shirts back on. Stop talking because you sound like an idiot. Just because all the other girls realized you're shallow and uninteresting doesn't mean the freshmen girls won't realize it eventually as well.
As real men, we are called to protect women. When I say protect, I don't mean shelter them because they're incapable of such things. Show them you love and care about them as the beautiful women they are. Start small, like holding doors open for them. Eventually you'll get it.
End. Be men, not losers.


Tuesday, September 06, 2005

All you ladies are invited to First Janssen's brother/sister twister party tonight at 7pm. Be there, or be elsewhere.


Monday, September 05, 2005

I was just reading the news today. It's terrible. Terrible things happen. Terrible people happen. Hurricanes are mean. Famine. Bubonic PlagueZ! You know it. But no one wants to talk about it. I think Jesus is coming back today. Remember when Jesus was like LATERZ KIDZ? well he's coming back. soon. tToo bad we gave all our money to the hurricane victims in indeuh and now we are like starving almost.
We worry about people but we are neglecting our brothers and sisters in the animal world. What about the ducks?



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